Momo, one of our cats, would happily watch episodes of House for the rest of his life. He especially seems to respond to 13's voice. Now, don't get me wrong, I like watching House too, but I'm starting to think that Momo's television watching is a symptom of our cats' general outlook on life.
Case in point, last night around 4am, I was awakened by growling and scratching and obnoxiously loud rambunctious sounds coming from the living room. Rio has woken us up a lot in the last two weeks wanting to go play outside in the middle of the night when his new friends call him, two neighborhood dogs that think Rio is the Danny Zuko of the neighborhood and want him outside all the time to PLAY and BARK and CHASE and BE VERY LOUD all the time. So this morning when I angrily threw off the covers to kick Rio out, I was horrified to find Rio growling and snapping at a terrified rat that he had cornered against a wall. Logically, the only course of action was to yell for Evaristo to wake up because THERE'S A FREAKING RAT IN THE HOUSE AND LOVECOMENOWQUICKANDDEALWITHTHIS!
My first thought was to grab one of the cats and throw it near the rat, but then I remembered that our cats are useless ornaments that only purr and demand food and attention and serve no actual purpose and that that action would have resulted in something so anticlimactic that I won't even waste space describing it. Not one of the cats thought this situation required their presence and looked at Evaristo and I and Rio with mild amusement through groggy half-open eyes as they yawned and readjusted themselves on their bed. Freaking cats.
Rio on the other hand, had the situation under control and as soon as he worked up the courage, growling and scratching the floor like a bull, he dispatched the rat with a quickness that was frankly a bit frightening. All I could think was that I wanted the rat gone. Good job Rio, yay and all that, but I want that rodent gone. Rio had other ideas and Evaristo supported them, leaving me to freak out by myself. Rio wanted to keep the rat for himself and became insanely possessive of his kill. No one could take it away, he wasn't having it. He would mouth it over and over, and stuff it all in his mouth to protect it when we tried to take it away. So gross.
We finally coaxed him outside where he still refused to relinquish the very dead rat that was now totally wet with dog slobber and Evaristo, defending Rio's interests as he likes to put it, thought that we should let Rio keep his prize as a reward for his valiant deed. I was not cool with this idea and I started freaking out a bit more about THERATGONENOWSOGROSS and Evaristo started laughing trying to take the rat away and Rio kept slobbering and mouthing it refusing to give it up and then it started raining and the three of us were all scandalous and creating a scene in our pajamas for all our neighbors to see. But I didn't care because the rat needed to disappear like now.
At this point the cats decided to see what all the fuss was about and came outside and continued to be of no help whatsoever. I was nearing my breaking point about the rat and so I ran inside and grabbed some slices of ham from the fridge to try to temp Rio away from the rat. Rio was dubious at first and he knew what I was trying to do; but in my experience, no dog can resist cold cuts and eventually he gave in to the smell of delicious ham and Evaristo was finally able to trash bag the rat and the cats just sat there until it was all over and then began to DEMAND HAM. The nerve.
